The First Year of Marriage

[Frozen cupcakes and cookies, one year old from our wedding last year--they are still thawing in the fridge, we cheated and ate a new cupcake from Sprinkles!]

Yesterday marked our one year wedding anniversary (*trumpets! fireworks!*). Unfortunately, I was too tired to do a blog post. BUT I am tired out of happiness, because it's been a really fun weekend so far. I feel super spoiled after having gone on vacation, and then having all of this fourth of July weekend merriment. I got to meet my newborn nephews, celebrate my cousin's wedding, and after our flight back home, we spent the day in Point Loma at Cabrillo National Monument and Sunset Cliffs.

[View of sailboats from Cabrillo National Monument]

After a good walk along the cliffs, we ate dinner on the patio of Pomodoro, and then split this lemon blueberry cupcake from Sprinkles. We might be adventurous today and eat the frozen ones from our wedding. (Or not, haha)

[Lemon blueberry cupcake from Sprinkles]

In honor of the "paper anniversary" we bought these papel picado hot air balloons on our New Mexico trip. We're hanging them in our office so we can be reminded of happy times as we toil away at our work.  I'm also now enamored by papel picado. I've always loved Chinese paper cuts. As a kid, I used to cut out templates my mom would buy for me in Chinatown. It didn't occur to me how much I love papel picado too until we saw so many of them in Santa Fe. I totally want to try making a (very simple) banner now.

[The boy modeling three of the colors in the 12-piece banner]

Finally, because this post is titled "The First Year of Marriage", I'm concluding this wrap-up of fun stuff with some contemplative thoughts about the changes in our relationship after the wedding.

Like our relationship at any time, there were highs and lows. I recall our lowest low being an argument in which we actually debated who inflicted more stress on the other. I also wasn't myself for a few months, which probably contributed to the "I stress you out?! YOU stress me out!" fights. I think the "being married" distinction also messed with me head--I didn't know "how to be married". In my fog of what I perceived as instability, I wanted a foolproof marriage plan--where was this magical solution to prevent divorce? Where could I get it? How could I do it? What did we need to do to ensure we are happy? When my mind was racing and my anxiety was high, I didn't have the sense to realize that "being married" isn't derived from a list of requirements. It's what we want it to be.

After a year of being married, I'm even more thankful I have the boy in my life. Out of the haze of my anxiety, I came to the realization that the boy truly accepts me for who I am. He never bothers me for not liking what he likes, or wanting to stay home on a Friday night instead of go out with him, or getting way too excited at craft stores and bakeries. He gives me space to be myself instead of molding me to be an "ideal" partner. And that makes me very happy.

What lessons did you learn in your first year of marriage? Did you eat year-old wedding cake??