Do you call your in-laws Mom and Dad, and if you do, how long did it take to get used to calling them that?
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21.7.10
Call Us Mom and Dad
This was the request my mother-in-law had right before the wedding. Why don't you call us Mom and Dad from now on? I said OK, but I never did because it just felt WEIRD.
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18 comments:
My In laws would actually like me to do that but it just creeps me out so there is no way ...
My parents passed away a few years before I met my future in-laws, and I'm really uncomfortable calling anyone "Mom" or "Dad" ever again. My in-laws are totally understanding of my special circumstance and are fine with me calling them by their first names forever. I do feel a little weird given that their other kids' spouses both call them mom and dad, though. But I like to think of it as a temporary problem; once Collin and I pop out a baby I'll start calling my in-laws by their grandparent names.
I've called them that over email (they are long distance) but not in person, and I'm kinda nervous about it.
I started calling mine "Mom" and "Dad" the second after we were engaged, expressly so that it would never be weird.
Nope... someone once asked me what I call my mother-in-law and I realized that I really just start talking to her. I don't call her by her first name and I definitely don't call her "mom."
Now that we have a small child, I call her "grandma" more often than not.
I do in cards to them from us both but dont think I ever have to them yet!
Would feel a bit odd I think since I have a mum and dad!
The day after the wedding grahams gran did say welcome to the family and think she called me her granddaughter which was quite lovely as I dont have any grandparents.
Yikes! I'm not married, but I don't think I could call anyone Mom and Dad except my Mom and Dad. And I can tell you that my parents always to this day call each other's parents by their first names rather than Mom/Dad Grandma/Grandpa, etc.
Glad other people are creeped out by it too. MIL looked kinda excited by it, and I really don't call them by their first names now since they speak limited English, so I think I'm going to try it out next time.
@hitchdied: I'm so sorry for your loss, and am glad your in-laws are sensitive to your feelings about calling them Mom and Dad.
I didn't even think about what I would call them once we have a kid, but that sounds like a good solution--grandma and grandpa it is!
@Glo: I do that too, but should really have a name for them. One of these days I'll try out Mom and Dad after a big deep breath.
This last visit if finally felt normal...but it was definitely weird at first. But they are amazing parents...i can't imagine calling them by their names anymore!
My husband calls my parents "ma and ba" (Chinese version). He's cool with it. I don't have parents in law but I guess since they'd want to be called mom and dad, I'd be ok since the names are slightly different!
i actually wondered for months if my MIL would want me to call her "mom". luckily, she is fine with me just calling her by her first name. i think i would be too freaked out to call her "mom".
Can't do it! I don't know what to call them! I find it wrong to call them by their first names (they're ADULTS, you can't call adults by their first name!), and I do not feel comfortable calling them "mom" and "dad" either. I try to avoid calling them anything at all, though I know that won't work forever! :/
I think once I was caught in a situation where I had to refer to one of them specifically. I think I said "dad" but said it as low and fast as possible. It felt totally weird and wrong. Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! His mom is so passive aggresive- if she was annoyed by me calling or not calling her "mom" she'd make a snarky comment to hubby about it, but never tell me- just let me go on doing whatever I was doing with no way to know what she wanted.
I only call my in-laws "Mom" and "Dad" when I am writing them a holiday card or a birthday card. Given that it has been a year since we got married, it is kind of uncomfortable. But in the same vein, L doesn't call my parents anything, either. I told him he can call my parents by their first names (because my family isn't proper or old school), but he refuses because he grew up calling everyone's parents "Mr" and "Mrs". So for us, both sets of parents have no names! Haha!
I am with you on the criticism thing. I love my in-laws but I don't need two sets of parents. Yikes!
They want me to call them mom and dad too - I will get there eventually I think for now I just call them by their first names.
Weird ... I have a mom and dad. My mom called her parents-in-law by their first names. My dad called his parents-in-law by their first names. There's no precedence in my family for that! Fortunately, my in-laws are happy being called by their first names.
Thanks to everyone for your insight! It's a sticky situation. I grew up where titles are really, really important and if I didn't greet a relative by their prescribed name I would be in trouble, so it's actually kind of funny I have no names for my in-laws. Sorry actual Mom and Dad! I'll let you all know when I say the "M" and "D" word.
@ruthy ann: Your love for your in-laws is so heartwarming. They're lucky to have you as a daughter-in-law!
i'm struggling with this too! recently my future mother-in-law said "we're going to have to figure out what you can call me after the wedding". is it bad that i'd really just prefer to call them by their first names ...forever. i have one mom and dad and i don't feel like i could call other people by the same thing. that's when it's great to have kids - all of a sudden they are grandma/grandpa/nonno/papa/whatever!
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