5.1.10

A Wedding Ring--do I need one?

[Quick side note before this post: I had a great time with the Professional Bridesmaid. We ate at Break of Dawn, a really yummy breakfast spot in between LA and San Diego. When I got home the boy asked how the restaurant was, and as I was thinking about it, I couldn't really remember the restaurant that well because I had been talking so much!
Thanks for the awesome breakfast. :)
Meeting blogger friends in person, highly recommended! Next time we can get a whole group together, I know a lot of you are in the Southern California area. If I met a bunch of you all at once I probably wouldn't even be able to eat because I'd be talking so much.]

[Two hammered yellow gold bands from Etsy seller Silverwoods]

If you recall, I have a ring, which I love so much that when I received it I couldn't stop looking at it. What can I say, I like shiny sparkly things. I was walking with my good friend one day and I was most likely blathering on about the wedding and how we had to order a wedding band for the boy and a wedding band that would match my ring, when she said, "I never really understood why the woman needs two rings."

I started explaining that one was an engagement ring and the other was a wedding band, when a mental brick hit me over the head--good question my friend. Why DO I need two rings? Wasn't I the one who was agonizing over the symbolism of me getting a ring and the boy being ringless for our engagement? If we abandoned getting me a wedding band, we'd be even. I'd have one ring, he'd have one ring. I mean, I already abandoned a bunch of other traditions, might as well toss this one into the pile too.

Did anyone else opt out of getting a wedding band and just use their engagement ring? Do you think it's something I will miss?
Moo

11 comments:

A Los Angeles Love said...

dear lord I heart your Sarah Perlis engagement ring... down to the bezel set center sapphire and recycled gold. No joke - this was the ring style (in white gold) I wanted if we hadn't used my mom's ring.

Moving on... I'd say do what you want with the wedding ring. My dad never wore his ring. My mom only got an engagement ring - which she hated and had remade into her wedding band. They are still happily married. Rings are a symbol or marriage, not the marriage itself. Very pretty symbols, but ultimately personal to the couple themselves in their level of importance. I was considering a single ring for a long time, but my engagement ring is impractical, so I want a practical everyday wedding band. However, your e-ring is pretty practical with the bezel and lower setting, so it may not be a concern to you. I also like the idea of a simpler ring for traveling and around kids. But that's me and may not resonate with you.

Go with your gut and you'll figure it out. Maybe you both want wedding bands, maybe you don't. His doesn't need to match yours (you may have different tastes, and he's the one who needs to wear it everyday) and yours only needs to match your needs/style/e-ring. In the state of CA, you only need to sign that paperwork to get married - the rings are symbolic props, so do whatever works for you.

Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

I am not getting a wedding band...my pretty e-ring is being transformed on wedding day to the wedding ring :) I think it's a matter of taste and desire personally. I know some e-rings are not all that blingy or are very simple so they want to jazz them up with a band. But I do not need one at all. If anything, perhaps on our 10 year anniversary I'll get a band to go with the ring? I say don't worry about it if you don't think you need it!

PDX Bride said...

It really depends on what you want. I actually have three rings. M and me really wanted to have matching wedding bands . . . so we got matching bands (although mine is a lot skinnier), then I have my engagement ring, and I got my grandmothers wedding band (an eternity ring) all fixed up as my something old, so I wear it most of the time too. It is kind of nice just to have the band if we go camping or hiking or some other place my more fragile (an expensive) rings might get damaged. I also have a friend where her husband and her both have two rings . . . an "every-day" ring and super nice custom "special occasion" rings that are their actual wedding bands. So, I say do what feels right. If you want to use your engagement ring as your wedding ring, do it!

Megan said...

I echo A Los Angeles Love. I LOVE your ring. I went ahead and got a wedding band, which I may or may not have been wearing around the house this week. Shhhhhh. I like my engagement ring, but I love my wedding band. Garrison's parents gave him his great-grandmother's ring to have remade for me, so I was stuck (oh darn...I know) with my beautiful center diamond, or else I would have probably asked for a simple diamond band like my wedding band.

Luxeville said...

It's crazy how we're thinking about rings... but I suppose most women are! ;) I wish I had the same experience you and your boy had of trying out rings and essentially picking it, together... Mine insists on it being a surprise. >T

I say, switch it up! Sometimes, you can wear the band alone on everyday days or dealing with small children... and the engagement ring when you're feeling sassy. 8) Stack them on other days! Whatever you like. I think you'd appreciate the practicality of having the band when the reality of married life sets in. ;)

You have a gorgeous ring! Yellow gold complements the design so well... what a wonderful heirloom piece in the making! :)

Rick from Novell wedding bands said...

My opinion - do what your heart says. Be yourself. If you don't want a wedding band, then you don't need one. Why be conventional "just because"?

Krista said...

I would agree that it's up to you. I enjoy having a separate engagement ring and wedding band. I usually wear them together, but sometimes I wear the wedding band on my left hand ring finger and my engagement ring on my right hand right finger. And sometimes I just wear my wedding band and leave my engagement ring at home. (And sometimes I don't wear them at all. My fingers swell when I exercise, so I typically leave them at home before I go to the gym.)

Do what works for you. Think about it seriously and consider if that ring could be your wedding ring. Consider if you'd rather have a wedding ring and keep your engagement ring separate. Think about how you'd feel about each decision, the pros and cons of each decision. And then conclude what feels right. (Also, ask your fiance what he thinks. Who knows, maybe he'll have some good arguments / counter-arguments to help you make your decision.)

Mo said...

Thanks for all the great feedback! I'm still torn, because I do wear my engagement ring everyday and it doesn't get in the way, and people don't even think it's an engagement ring anyway. So I don't think I need the band, I just have to decide if I want the band. I didn't even think of interchanging the rings, I just assumed I'd wear both for-evah. Thanks for the comments!

@A LA Love: My parents never wore their rings either, same with the boy's!

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

your ring is gorgeous and so unique! i could see not feeling like i needed one if my e-ring were like yours. why mess with perfection :)

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

I love your ring...especially now that I've seen in person!!! ;)
I say go with what you're feeling...one ring, two rings, matching rings, non-matching rings....it's all good. Personally, I love jewelery so I would want two...hehehe.

Mouse said...

Your blog is so cute! I love it.

I want to just use my engagement ring, but worry about losing it. For that reason only, I'm considering a band. Budget-wise, I may just stick to my engagement ring for a few years...

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