[Mo today vs. Mo 8 weeks ago]
I reached my goal weight just before vacation (woohoo!) and now would really like to stay here, no more, no less. Yes, I did eat a lot on our vacation (but didn't the food look good??). No, I didn't really exercise in the past week because of said vacation. I know, I'm already off to a bad start. But really, I'm tired of getting to the point of my clothes not fitting anymore and then exercising more and eating less. I've grown up eating a lot of whatever I want. It's hard to break that habit. I'm going to try to make more of an effort this time post-diet to keep exercising and eating less sugar and fat.
I also find dieting really exhausting and would love to never want to go on another one. When I'm on a diet (which to me is 1200-1400 calories a day) I am constantly thinking about food. What I can eat, what I can't eat, how my body looks from day to day. It's all consuming and altogether very tiring. In the midst of my calorie obsession, I found two websites with Asian perspectives on body image and food. They've helped me stay grounded:
Lynn Chen's personal food blog, The Actor's Diet, and her collaborative blog with Lisa Lee, Thick Dumpling Skin.
I'm so glad they exist. Reading other people's stories makes me realize I'm not alone, and helps put my own issues with weight into perspective. Yes, my mother's wedding cheongsams are a size 0 and do not fit me. Yes, I had a boyfriend tell me to lose 10 lbs when I thought I was thin (not the boy, thank goodness.) Yes, I'm told at family meals to eat and eat and eat but then am criticized for gaining weight.
No, I do not want other people's disparaging comments about my weight to get me down.
Yes, I am happy with my body.
And since I'm on a roll declaring things, I'd like to eat cake and not feel bad about it. Like this one.
[Inside-out Neapolitan Cake from Sweetapolita]
Wish me luck.
For more eloquent writing about Asians and body image, visit Thick Dumpling Skin.
To peak inside Lynn Chen's food world, visit her personal blog.