A Dress That Won't Allow Me To Hug

I am so glad that I am done with the bridal salon and alterations. Not only did they temporarily lose the fabric from my dress, but the alterations were $275 over what was originally quoted and I kept getting frustrated because the dress just did not fit correctly. I'm so tired of hearing "that's what it's supposed to look like" for a dress that I probably have seen more times than any other garment I've ever purchased in my entire life.

The dress doesn't stay up comfortably. There isn't much fabric in the back that can keep it up. Pair that with my sloping shoulders, and it makes it doubly worse.

[This was taken with the unaltered dress, but the shoulders were still doing that today. I hope it's brought in tight enough so that it isn't a problem.]

Today, which was to be my last fitting, I moved one inch and the whole top almost fell off. I stood outside the dressing room trying to flag down the seamstress, and when I showed her what was wrong, she told me that it wasn't that bad and that she can't bring it in much more because the sleeves would dig into my under arms. AHHHHHHH!!!! I can't believe I just paid more than my monthly rent for a dress that won't stay on properly!!! I'm going to flash everyone as I walk down the aisle, it'll be either holding my dress up or holding my bouquet... Stay calm.

I then proceeded to hunch over to make my point to the seamstress, and again, the whole thing fell off. What do you say to that, hmmmmm?? Not much you can say now!
"Oh...Ok, I'll see what I can do," she said.

She came back and pinned the shoulders even more, and finally the top didn't fall off. Huzzah! She sewed it on the spot, and I waited in the dressing room and tried it on one more time. It fit a lot better, but it is definitely not that comfortable.
"Better?" she said.
"Yeah...a lot better than before." I started hunching over, moving my shoulders, putting my arms up, and then I tried to move my arms forward. I couldn't do it. She saw my look of despair.
"It's just for one night," she said. "Keep your arms by your side and stand up straight like a princess. You don't want to make this motion," and then she moved her arms forward like I was trying to do, the same motion you would do if you were hugging someone.
So, basically what you are trying to tell me is that I can't hug people on my wedding day by wearing this dress. Seriously? No gigantic hugs for all these people that flew in for our wedding?? Hugging is like one of my top five favorite things in life, right next to holding hands and puppies! Why wasn't I aware of the lack of hugging potential in this dress when I purchased it??

"Ok...yeah, I think some tape should help keep it in place too, I'll try to remember to keep my back straight that day," I told her with a straight face. I got dressed, took the dress, and never looked back.

I'm worried that I won't feel comfortable in my dress the day of the wedding and will be constantly fidgeting. It makes it even worse when I think about how much money I spent--and for what? A dress that I can't hug people in or feel comfortable because I'm afraid the top will fall off my shoulders? Le sigh.

If you see me at the wedding and I do not put my arms out, it is not because I do not want to hug you. It is because I have become a slave to the wedding dress.


julia::ordinarysaturdays said...

My first thought was wig tape. My second was, can you add something that will keep the straps up - maybe even detachable, so you can go without for the ceremony then hug at will during the reception? I'm thinking a silk ribbon tie across your shoulder blades, or maybe a string of pearls with a vintage brooch in the middle (so it looks intentional).

Also, I am so sorry for the $$$ alterations and hassle. That sucks. Maybe advice is not the thing, just sympathy?

Gaynor said...

Oh no, that doesnt sound good.

You will totally want to be comfortable and never mind hugging the guests, at some point you are going to want to put your arms round your husband!

Could you maybe go to another seamstress?

Chocolate Lover said...

So sorry you are going through this! I was actually thinking about something like Julia mentioned, that could connect the two sides of the dress across your back (like a string of pearls or lace) so that you can move more comfortably and hug people. I wasn't very happy with the alterations on my dress and ended up having 6-7 fittings to get it ok so I feel your pain somewhat. Good luck with it!

Amberdawn said...

That's terrible :( I guess you could do the half hug thing with the elbows at your sides. But yeah, maybe keep fighting this. Good luck!

Mo said...

Thanks for the sympathy and advice, I think the next step will be to do a test run with one of my girlfriends. I don't want to wear my dress in my apartment because it's kind of a pig sty, but I'm going to have to run around the room and see if it's really going to be comfy or not. If not, I gotta find another seamstress. :(

@julia: That's a great idea--actually, they showed me a photo of a bride who had criss-crossed strings attached to hold the dress up, but I really thought it didn't match at all so I never even considered it. I could live with pearls!

@Gaynor: Ahahaha...I am terrible because I did not even think about that! Yes, of course I want to be able to hug my husband without thinking! Good point!

@chocolatelover: Oooh 6 or 7! That does make me feel better, as I only had 2 and they booted me out of there. They made me feel like I was being super picky, when really I just wanted a dress could actually wear!

@Amderdawn: Ahh the elbow hug. :) I could also be European and do the cheek kisses. Oh how I hope my arms can move that day.

ruthy ann said...

ugh...i'm so sorry, this has got to be incredibly frustrating! I would definitely ask for a discount on the alterations...i'm all about service...if it's bad, they'll hear about it on a review online.

blushingjoy said...

I'm sooo sorry to hear about your alteration issues. The first thing that crosses my mind is double sided tape. I love the stuff. The black and white dress I wore for our portrait session in KL... that had double sided tape on both shoulders as it was a size too big! I really like the idea of criss-crossed strings across the back to hold the dress up too so maybe have the double sided tape in your emergency purse on the day just in case.

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

Oh dear. So sorry to hear about the hassles. That's awful. Julia's idea is great! And I agree with the tape idea, just to reinforce.

p.s. you could always do the asian bow?!! hehehe.

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