Conversations with a pair of shoes

Yesterday I was getting something at the mall cafe with my girlfriend, when I walked by these.

And they spoke to me.

Shoes: Hi Mo! Aren't we cute? We just wanted to grab your attention for a minute because we know we go with your dress-your dress does have silver details, doesn't it? And isn't your jewelry pretty bling? We are big on bling.
Me: Oh, why hello there Vera Wang shoes. My, you are very pretty.
Shoes: Thank you.
Me: Unfortunately, I've had my shoes since November. And, you're $100 more than them. $100 can buy me another person at our wedding, or a new summer dress, or a hair cut and color, or--
Shoes: --oh, I know we look more high maintenance than your other shoes, but really we're a lot more comfortable and flexible. And, what's $100? Hmmm? If you could spend $100 to be happier, wouldn't you? We just want you to be happy on your wedding day.
Why don't you try us on? The display is a 7, it might fit you even though you're a 6.5. See how observant we are? We even know what shoe size you are.
Me: Well, I don't---
Shoes: TRY US ON.
Me: Ok.
[slips on shoes, walks to mirror]
Shoes: Gorgeous, no? We look really nice on your feet. The 7, not bad at all! This might even be your size. And look, we can see the pedicure you just got. Your other shoes, well, they aren't peep-toes like we are. Who's going to care if you picked the perfect shade of pink if they're hidden, hmmmm?
Me: Good point.
Shoes: We know, we are smart. And pretty.
Me: You are very pretty. Almost too pretty.
Shoes: Why thank you. Would you like to use your VISA to purchase us? We also take Mastercard. Or cash. We aren't picky.
Me: Um...well, hmmmmmmm....no, I like you, I really do. You're a great pair of shoes. It's not you, it's me. I have to think about it before I give up my old shoes. I hope you understand.
Shoes: Sure, yeah, no problem, it's cool, really cool, we understand, you take your time. You know where we're at.
...But we know you'll make the right decision.

What? You don't talk to fashion?



Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

LOL I can't say I talk to fashion...but then, my lifestyle and job and activities don't really afford me many opportunities to wear Vera Wangs :) I completely understand though about wanting something different when you already bought something new for an occasion or accessory :)

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

LOLOLOL. Mo, you crack me up. I certainly talk to fashion all the time. It's very distracting. They are lovely....oh so lovely.

Anonymous said...

I am so, so glad that the fashion that talks to me is not as persuasive as yours. (But MAN those are some pretty feet holders.)

Mo said...

@Born to be Mrs. Beever: Yes, I am totally at risk of being a two-shoe bride here.

@TPB: Aren't they?? I had to put them down and run away.

@hitchdied: Yes, yes they are. And they definitely know it! :)

Amberdawn said...

Haha, very persuasive shoes you found there.

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

I love them! Be a 2 shoe bride! Ok I'm bad, but those peep toes are awesome.


hahaha Mo you're too funny! I'd get them if I were you but I know I'm a bad influence... :)

Mo said...

I didn't buy them. But my old shoes, in the box, with the return label attached, are still sitting in my car.

I'll keep you all posted.

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