A Dress That Won't Allow Me To Hug: Part 2

For the first incredibly long and dramatic post about my dress alterations, go here.

Today, I finally dusted off the wedding dress bag and brought it over to my girlfriend's apartment for an assessment. What we realized when I tried it on and tried to walk was that not only was it falling over, it was way. too. long. WAY too long. Like 4-5 inches too long. I did not realize this at the bridal shop because they kept me confined and didn't have me walk around, so I didn't even realize how unbearably long it really was until I tried to walk the length of her room. My girlfriend consoled me, and told me to bite the bullet and call another seamstress. The dress really needed it.

So I clutched my credit card and drove it over to a seamstress in La Jolla. I tried the dress on for her and told her what the other seamstress told me, that this was the best it could be and that tape was the answer.

Well, new seamstress took one look at it, and told me what I had sensed all along (especially since I couldn't wear it without holding it.)

This fit was bad news bears.

The length was way too long, the sleeves did not fit properly, and it was obvious that I was not comfortable since the top kept slipping off. The funniest part was when she told me to tie my hair up and I told her "I can't. My arms can't go up." I showed her and she looked at me with pity and said "oh dear."

Long story short, it's getting hemmed, and the sleeves are being de-poufed (which the last seamstress claimed could not be done.) She also tried to solve the falling off my shoulders dilemma. "Oh! I have something that will work!" She came back with a really thin ivory string with pearls and beads on it. "We made a dress for a client, this was leftover from hers." It matched my dress, and she pinned it to the back to make my shoulders stay up. For the first time, it actually looked like the dress fit me. I'm trying it on again next week, and am going to decide if I want the thin piece of string or not.

I had put this off because I knew I needed to pay more money, and I am embarrassed at how much this one dress has cost, but at least after seeing a new seamstress I feel better. I hope she does a good job and doesn't shaft me.

The other bummer is that I returned my shoes. The pearls kept snagging the lace, and so I need a pair of flats that don't have embellishment. That also means no Vera Wang shoes. :(

As a final note, during the fitting, I got a little sad because she asked where I was from, and if anyone had come with me to the bridal shop. I told her my family all lived up north, and I didn't have any relatives here, so I was by myself at the shop. "Sometimes it's hard when you go alone, you can't really tell how it fits when you're all by yourself." (She asked some other ladies in the shop to comment on how my dress fit, so we had different opinions on how to keep the dress up.) Anyway, it made me sad because it reminded me of going shopping for my prom dress by myself, and I remember bumping into my friend and her mother at the mall and her mom insisting that I shop with them for the rest of the day. (For the record, my Mom did go back with me to the mall, where we did buy a strapless lavender dress that I basically loved so much I wanted to sleep in it.)

Planning a wedding is so emotional, it's been hard doing it alone with my mom and sisters away and with a boy that spends a majority of his time within the confines of a lab.

Is anyone else doing a lot of the planning solo? And, what do you think about using the thin ivory strap to keep the shoulders up?


The Professional Bridesmaid said...

Oh Mo. How stressful!! If that was me, I would have balled myself up in the store right then and there cursing the other seamstress. This new one sounds very promising. I like the idea of the ivory strap, especially if it means comfort. You want to feel good in your dress!

Abbie said...

I'm so glad you broke down and had someone else take a look. You won't regret it... and you'll actually feel comfortable!

I was alone in the planning here, too. My nearest family was over 1000 miles away, and it was definitely hard. Hang in there, girl!!

A Los Angeles Love said...

I want to give you a big hug right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, and I can only imagine how hard this planning-alone and crazy dress process has made you.

I know it's more money, but it sounds like you finally found a quality seamstress who will make the dress what you always wanted to it be. And I think the pearls will be lovely and fit the dress. And it's worth it now, even if it cost more, to make this a comfortable and beautiful wedding dress.

And hugs. None of my closest girlfriends live in LA. They've all moved or are from college/before I moved back here. So this planning thing is definitely weird alone. But it will all come together when your family joins you for the last bit.

Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. Glad you found someone to finally fix it. I did most of my wedding planning alone but only because i wanted to and did not really need any help. Here's to everything looking up from this point on.

Amberdawn said...

That's great that you found a new seamstress :) I hope your dress turns out perfect :)

My mom was physically present when I tried on and bought my dress, but not emotionally with me. She'd just had her hours cut at a job she hated and lost her health insurance, so she suffered in silence the whole time but I knew something was wrong. I didn't get any input from her. But I love my dress, so I got over it okay :) (And she's found a new job since!)

Anonymous said...

Losing those shoes is a sad thing, but it sounds like getting the dress fixed up again by a different seamstress is the right call. I hope this round of alterations fixes everything right up.

Serious Craft said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dress and shoe woes. :( I, too, don't have very many people here in LA to run around with me to do wedding stuff...

So do you have any ideas for shoes? You could get ones that have fabric flowers on them instead of gems or beads. I think those won't snag the dress as much. I was making singed organza/crepe flowers to experiment with putting them on shoes, particularly flats. Maybe that's an option, they're REALLY easy to make, and very pretty.

I hope it all works out for you! Hey, if you want help, I'm here.

ruthy ann said...

:( so sorry about the dress drama...i do understand the alone thing. I bought my dress alone, got it altered alone, planned everything away from friends and family...it sucked not to be able to share those moments. But...those memories fade when everyone is together for the wedding. Hope everything with the dress works out!!!!

Mo said...

Thanks so much ladies. This blog is good therapy. :)

@TPB: Curling up in a little ball sounded like a really good idea. I restrained myself thankfully.
I was really reluctant about the strap, but when I saw the front and how much better it fit, I was open to it. We'll see how it goes!

@Abbie: Thanks Abbie, my family is about 500 miles away and I've really racked up the miles by flying back and forth!

@A Los Angeles Love: *hug* Yes, it will hopefully come together. I'll try and get the crazies out before people start arriving the Wednesday before. I can't wait until they get here!

@Mrs. Beever: I think that is how I was at the very beginning, I could handle everything on my own. But now that the stress is setting in, it's clear I need a hand to hold (or a hug, or a cookie,) every once in a while.

@Amberdawn: I'm sorry she wasn't more excited/present, but glad she has since found a job, and that you love your dress. :)

@hitchdied: I hope this round helps it too, and at first I was sad about the shoes, but really they weren't all that comfy and right now comfort is high on my priorities list, whereas before it was non-existent! The things I do for vanity, le sigh.

@Serious Craft: Thanks Karen! I did actually buy a pair of shoes today, but if those don't work out (I have the receipt) I have these leftover flowers from a Handle and Spout order. Great idea, I'll keep it handy in case I need other shoes!

@ruthy ann: Thanks!! I imagine that the disappointment will all fade too when I see close to 150 faces I know in 3 weeks. :)
I'm really excited, despite the dress being in a pain in my a%#*!

honey my heart said...

oh mo, i hope your dress situation gets better. it is glad to hear that the seamstress was very helpful and could fix it. wishing you the best for the next fitting!!!

Gaynor said...

sounds like this new seamstress knows what she is doing so im sure it will all turn out dab.

Must have been so so stressful tho, hope you are ok.

Sorry about the shoes too but they need to be right! {my bridesmaid got her shoe caught in her dress and almost pulled it all so better to not have a chance of that happening, you dont want to ruin the lace)

Maggie said...

I'm so glad you saw another seamstress. I really identified with this post because I did so much of my wedding-related shopping alone, too - and I swear so much of it would have been different in the end had I had someone with me. It IS different alone, when you just have your head and the sales people there with you. Good on you for turning this one around and making the dress exactly what you want it to be. Everyone deserves to be hugging their heart out at their own wedding!

Bells said...

Oh big big hug (which it sounds like you will now be able to do more easily!)
Sounds like you are really on the road to having a wonderful outfit that you feel fabulous in - sorry you've had such bumps on the way though.

blushingjoy said...

Thank God you found a new seamstress. It sounds like she knows what she's doing. Hopefully this will all work out!!! A big hug to you, gal! It feels like you've had nightmare after nightmare with the other seamstress with your dress.

The Thirty-Something Bride said...

Oh Mo, I just teared up reading this.
I think the string will be very prett, particularly if you feel comfy with it there.
And I too had some of the same emotions - planning with no family or BFF's who live in the same town. It was hard, for sure.
But your dress is stunning and it will all work out in the end, of this I'm sure!
I can't wait to find out what the replacement shoes are!!!

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